Butterfly Heart


Symmetrical mosaics grace the shape of a butterfly’s wings… fluttering high in the sky. The light blazes in the lacey filagree balancing in gravity’s wind. She glides gently. Soars strongly. Shines brightly when she rests on a daisy in the open meadows’ greenery. 

Wings aflight ascend higher in the daylight when the sunshine kisses her. See her from the Heavens… a heart shaped rose is what you’ll behold when you look from the vantage point of angels. Her beauty arrayed like a tapestry of ornamental embroidery. The butterfly keeps soaring… exploring… giving glory to the Lord who gave her life and wonder to find with Him by her side…

He’s by your side… did you know?

God is the One who makes you soar.

Then the rains fall… pitter patter on her open wings aflight caught in the drift of a raindrop descending from the rainbows she found in the afterglow of midnight. When the rain falls do you see the beauty? Or do you want the storm to leave? It’s both… a gift and a cruelty to endure the scrutiny of a butterfly’s wings trapped in caves not in the open sky. But there’s something there she needed to find. A light shining bright no matter the rainfall. Like the way the rainbow peeks through the clouds from the moisture the rain causes. She found it when He gave her life… and it’s sustained her all this time. It’s why she doesn’t break when the avalanches bolt down the side of a mountain. She knows how to fly above it. To cherish the moments God gifted her to see and hold dearly. In the pain and the mystery of it, it’s still worthy of being written in her story.

Dancing through life with my heart held by the King in all things…

Your heart touched mine

when You bled for me

died for me

fought for me

and I will live for You

in the moments of sacrifice

showing love is always worth the price

Love… it twists a kiss on the inside, clearing out the parts of me I didn’t know I needed to find and provoke to the surface. So I bleed now… 

How do you like my heart to bleed… internally or visibly? It’s crystalline… the diamonds glistening from the pressure it felt but didn’t break from. It’s not broken… my heart… it’s woven in the hands of the God who formed me. Radiating… shining… igniting into rose petals red from the blood that dripped when love cut me. But it did something… the cut. It didn’t wound me… it healed me. Strengthened me. Enlightened me.

Love always elevates us higher.

Love graces us with wisdom.

Love gives us room to breathe and fly… to discover life in our own way.

Love beckons us to rectify the desire inside that needs to come into alignment with the Spirit of God and what His Word says.

Love asks us to step outside of ourselves and seek the best for the other, even if it costs us. Anything else that seeks it’s own desire is not love. I knew it was love because I found myself willing to die in the wrestling of my flesh and spirit… the flesh had to die… so the Spirit could awaken to even greater depth. And it did… it was both wasn’t it… a dying to myself and for them… and also a turmoil within because I wanted love too. But I need You more Lord… I need Your Spirit more.

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

Your Spirit moves me… leads me… prompts me… guides me… but there’s this thorn that even the roses bring. The apostle Paul called it the “thorn in the flesh.” The weakness. It’s not sin to have a weakness. But it is to let it become dominant over the Spirit. When Your Spirit moves me, Lord… that’s pure. What You spoke and provoked… that was Your voice. When my flesh gets involved and wants something more that You won’t allow, that’s the flesh. What do you do when the Spirit and the flesh both come to the party? And what God is doing in you is made vulnerable to the flesh in you?

I found God’s hand in my life and story. He manifested Himself again. Beckoned my heart to see His face.

see My face 

My love

see my heart

My love

see My power 

My love

to be omnipresent with you

My Spirit is always with you

always in you

always for you

savor the moment

I gave you

I will give you more of Myself

forever

Jesus Christ… the Son of God… reigning in Heaven with the Father but here with us through His Holy Spirit like He said He would do… Jesus reminded the disciples in John chapter 14:26 that He would “send the advocate to remind them of everything He had spoken” and to speak the voice of truth…

Can you hear Him?

Your voice speaks to me

in the quiet light

of Your Word with me

Your voice soothes me

in the vibrant sky

of Your love with me

wooing me

to love You forever

My Jesus I will love You forever

Heart palpatating… the surge of lightning sparked at the shock of hurricanes flaring… open and raw is how the heart bleeds when it’s been struck by a force greater than itself. Collide with me, and I’m struck by Heaven… touched by the cosmos… lifted to a higher dimension of living than before. 

This was good for me.

To experience the tug between the flesh and the Spirit at a higher threshhold. Much more intense than ever before. Finding God fighting for me. Seeing my weakness beneath. Discovering the Spirit’s strength in me. Feeling the Lord’s grace in a deeper way than ever… 

“My grace is made perfect in your weakness…” God told Paul when He sought the Lord. And God answered Him…

God will answer you when you bring your heart to Him and all its contents… like a treasure chest where oil has spilled.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Pour Your oil on me more, Lord…

He made me weak… but I will boast in it. He made me melt… and I will boast in it. He softened my heart… so I will boast in it. Thank You Jesus for how You made me see another side of me that needed a touch from You. You see every part of me… didn’t want me to be lacking nor empty… so you let me bleed… like You did on the cross. A different kind of bleeding. Not from death… but from life being generated. You let me bleed… not from a hard heart but from a softened heart that now knows sin can find me and come out of me but You wash me in a thicker blood to cover me… saturating me… filling my veins with the very essence of You.

It’s Your blood in my veins. So I am holy in Your sight, washed white and Your child forever because You died for my sins… give me grace in my weakness… flower life in my Spirit so that I will be more powerful than ever.

“Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus…” Hebrews 10:19

I have confidence in You, God. 

Because Your blood was not given in vain… you spilled every vein so I could be close to You… and I want to forever. Cover me in Your blood.

His power gains momentum when we let Him see our weakness… it is not a shame either. A weakness. It’s not sin. A weakness. It’s a frailty of the human condition. Yet a beauty of the human experience. To be weak… so that Jesus can be closer to you… 

If Your power is made perfect in my weakness than my weakness is my glory and I gladly give you all of me… so You can indwell every part of me… be stronger in me Jesus.

“My power is made perfect in weakness…” God says…

What is your weak spot?

Not your sin spot… your weak spot.

It’s possible to not let it drift to the point of sin.

Know what makes you weak… and to say Lord I give you my heart in this and I ask you show me what to do and how to honor you… that is the power!

When your mind’s clarity is amplified to hone in on how and what God’s says in the middle of it. That is the power! To seek Jesus’ face with a heart of vulnerability and awareness of incapability… that is the power! To feel God take over in you and He guides you in His truth and teaches you wisdom… that is the power! At the moment where your weakness collides with supernatural substances of fruits of the Spirit growing in you because You HAD to seek the Lord in it or else you would collapse… that is the power! At the friction of the flesh and the Spirit… God wins. And He shows you that is really is possible to be led by the Spirit even when the flesh manifests itself. It is possible. To be human and yet beautifully used by the Lord in a powerful way. It’s what He planned for us to be here on the earth. 

Jesus said to His disciples, “you will do greater things than Me” in John 14:12.

What greater thing is God doing in your weak spot? What is He teaching you?

What greater thing is God doing in the world because You let Him lead your Spirit?

Never underestimate God’s power indwelling you.

It’s perfect power. 

That’s what the Bible calls it….

Power…

Perfected in weakness.

“And what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength. He demonstrated this power in the Messiah by raising Him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens— far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” Ephesians 1:19-21

That means God needed your weakness to be there… in order for Him to show up and be powerful. 

Your weakness is God’s sweet spot.

God wants to be powerful in you… He cannot show up if you hide your weakness. He cannot get involved and do what He can do if you refuse to acknowledge it. Take it to Him and talk to Him as Your God and Father… Jesus Christ is our intimate counselor by the Holy Spirit who gives us insight and wisdom into how He sees everything and He wants us to see this from His perspective. So let God see all the parts of you… honestly open with Him.

No one can guide you like Jesus can because He sees you 100% accurately and gives advice 100% correctly.

Biblical prophecy says this of Jesus… “His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

I love this verse about Jesus… we read it a lot around Christmas time but it’s a strong declaration in every season of who Jesus Christ is… and He is God! He is the Father. He is the Prince. He is a Counselor. Jesus, Father and Holy Spirit are one God. And I love this part specifially about Him as the perfect counselor… because when you are the one who counsels everyone else… who do you go to for counseling? We have to find someone greater than ourselves… and that is only Jesus.

He speaks to me in everything and always has throughout my whole life.

Jesus is my counselor.

Jesus is my advocate.

Jesus is my warrior.

Jesus is my King.

Jesus is my love.

Jesus is my God.

I have found no one who can console me and care for me like He does in how he talks to me…

Let Jesus talk to you… and tell you exactly what you need to hear. I love Jesus’ words because He’s so caring and comforting but He knows how to speak the truth to me at the same time. And in a way that doesn’t condemn nor shame. Because He cannot condemn nor shame. That’s the devil’s tricks. But God is lavish in how He speaks to us and generous in His love. He is true. He is not destructive nor harmful of life. He speaks no falsehoods and he does not medicate you with solutions the world will try to offer. He GOD and He is the SOLUTION.

There is no substitute for an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

Without Jesus as your first Love, we cannot be fully healthy. 

With Him, we are fully who we are meant to be.

Silence the voices of others who steer you to anything other than Jesus Christ as your solution for wholeness. He is the only way. And He is the essence of everything we long for.

Job was a man who experienced much suffering for following the Lord obediently… and a man who endured much scrutiny and bad advice from his friends. Learn from his story… it’s written in the Bible in the book of Job. Don’t let anybody speak into your situation. Go to God directly. Job has nobody who give him sound advice, not even his own wife. There comes a point where you have to wean yourself off from talking to others about what’s going on in situations that only God can explain. 

If you allow another human to diagnose your heart, they will misdiagnose you everytime.

“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” Colossians 2:8

The apostle Paul said don’t listen to anybody else’s philosophy… or their way of seeing it. Especially if they base it on a pattern they see based on human traditions. History. The way your family is. The way others are. If someone is trying to categorize you in a particular way based on other people’s faults and patterns, then that is a demonic assertion of your identity and not based on Christ. Don’t let someone speak into your life based on what they see from other people. Nor project their own weaknesses onto you. We are not meant to let other people’s behaviors inform how we understand one another. Each person has their own unique dna and is not like anyone else. We are all one of a kind and especially precious to the Lord. Honor how you treat others in your life. Honor life. We are to look to God and let His declaration of our identity inform how we see one another. Let His Word transform us by the renewing of our mind as Romans 12:2 says. 

When false and harmful assertions from others are spoken, discard it and ask the Lord how you can love that person… so that they will see themselves as one perfected in God’s eyes.

That is who you are… treasured by King Jesus Christ.

You belong to God.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name. You are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

You are God’s New Creation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

You are God’s Chosen Beloved.

“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.” Song of Solomon 6:3

You are God’s joy.

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

You are God’s Holy Priesthood. 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9

You are God’s Reflection.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

You are God’s artistry.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

You are God’s Child.

“You are children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” 1 Thessalonians 5:5

Listen to what God says about you and silence anything contrary to God’s voice.

Guard your heart from those influences. Because what seeps into your heart about your identity affects all of you.

You need to let your royal identity seep into your very veins where Jesus’ royal blood is flowing for you because of His shed blood on the cross. Guard your heart from the voice that speaks against your royal identity in Christ. Guard your heart from anything against God’s love for you. So that your heart remains purely held in that love…  only led and guided by that love, nothing less.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

EVERYTHING you do… comes from your heart.

So be indwelled by the Spirit that touches every part of you…

I saw what was in my heart

but You weren’t shocked by it

You knew, Lord

so You let me be taught by it

through experience 

thank You for letting me live

and choosing how I want to give

my heart to You

my vow to You

my love to You

I belong to You

Yes, there will be weaknesses in our hearts… grimey things in our hearts… weaknesses in our hearts… even sin… but you know what else is there when God comes in? Beauty… passion… love… fruit… gold… illuminating from the blood trickling out from a perfect heart of the Lamb of God meshing with yours… to heal and cleanse.

God sees your heart in all it’s glorious DNA… made to be like His DNA.

You are a child of the Most High God. Loved by the Creator. Adored by the King who reigns as Alpha and Omega. Beginning and End. That’s a big deal! Don’t ever let anyone tell you that God’s love for you is not real. Instead, show them He is. So they too can experience it.

I love how You showed up, Jesus…  I love how I see Your hand at work… when I think of how God touches the lives of His people in unique ways I see my experience as a conduit of precious power… exploding with touches of Heaven to those who needed it. God accomplished a great work… He moved in a way only He can envision… God is like that. Creative and remarkable in how He does things…

He’s unconventional. God. We cannot isolate Him to a category or method. We can not domesticate him into our earthly ways of living. Nor can we relegate him to our understanding of how life should be conducted. He is God and He is greater than how we’ve constructed society to operate.

God’s Kingdom of Heaven operates according to His paradigm. Not ours. I’m so glad for this… it will be exciting and new and better than anything we have constructed here. Yet to see what man has created is a beautiful reflection of our Maker… artwork, architecture, landscapes, buildings, gardens, pyramids, cities… our desire to create a place of habitation comes from God, the One who made us in His image to be like Him. We make habitations because God first made the Earth, our habitation. And we will ascend to Heaven where God is creating the perfect holy habitation for us in the New Jerusalem.

The power of God makes us soar from the indwelling of His Holy Spirit. It compels us onward! In Acts chapter 1, Jesus commissions His disciples to carry the gospel to the ends of the earth in verse 8. It’s their next step and the trajectory of their life and ministry.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

Wherever you go… carry the gospel. Through your life and heart. In step with Jesus and connected to Him in both strength and weakness. That is how you keep soaring! Thriving! Growing! Sustaining joy and passion! You won’t ever lose the gospel’s power inside of you because you are Jesus’ own child and what He put in you will forever remain. You have more to carry… more to accomplish… more to see God do… and you don’t have to rush into those next missions, God will make it happen on its own. Seek His face and let every season speak of His unchanging love and commitment to you.

How can you carry the gospel that churns within you?

An open heart… living life with eyes fixed on the Lord, honest in strengths and weaknesses. Vulnerable with God and showcasing the very salvation He offers. Your whole life is a demonstration of Jesus’ blood on display like artwork showcasing the wonders of a watercolor.

Loving Jesus as the first and foremost Lover of your soul…

That’s what carries the gospel.

Your love for God is what carries the gospel… bleeding out like a fragrant aroma to people you encounter. The King of life made you to soar like the butterfly… to conquer like the lion’s roar… to love like the sun and moon that appear everyday and night like clockwork. His love it not going anywhere… it’s here to stay. And you will forever be wrapped in His arms, indwelled with the same Spirit that gave you life.

Love Jesus and see the gospel naturally flow out of you. To see others soar into the Heavens He made for us to enjoy together. That is our home… and we will be there one day with our glorious King Jesus. 

water trickling

I love to hear the water trickling

in the river

where the leaves float

butterflies fluttering

I love to watch the butterflies fluttering

in the space between the sunshine

where the King reigns

as rainbows rain

in the winter

and spring

in every season

Your love is with me

 

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

Ephesians 3:18-19

natalieedwards18

lifeandgod.com Twitter: @paladinnat

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